Forever The Name On My Lips

I'm not in love.

I know I'm not.

But here I am - waiting. I am always waiting for you. I'm waiting for you to take notice to see what I always saw in you.

I'm waiting for you to see a picture of me and wish you were in it too.

I'm waiting for you to wait for a text, a phone call, an anything from me.

I'm waiting...

But I'm not in love.


So what am I waiting for?

I'm waiting for a love as intense as what we used to have.

I'm waiting for the sparks I got when we used to make love.

I am waiting for a love like I had with you.


I haven't found it yet.

So until then, I wait and waste my time with you and our memories - hoping, hoping someone will come and give me new ones.

Until then, I wait for you to want me as much as I've wanted you. I don't want the love. I want the validation.

I want you to feel the want I've felt for years.


Maybe then, I'll be able to turn my back and walk away.


Maybe then, we'll be even.

Darkened

It happens the same way every time...

You know the signs.

You walk into the darkness.

You follow his laugh.

It's so familiar, like a guiding light bringing you home.

It melts your heart.

And after all this time, raises goosebumps on your skin.

You're blinded by the darkness but you'll tackle it if it's the only pathway to him.

You get there.

He speaks.

The words you always longed to hear.

But the words that actions never cared to back up.

It's painful every time.

You doubt yourself every time.

But like every time, you'll follow his voice again into the darkness. 

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